Whenever a marriage ends, there is bound to be some negative fallout. Kevin Cotter knows that when your wife of 12 years leaves you, there is bound to be some (hilarious) revenge. His wife moved her possessions out of their home in Tucson, AZ, and left only one thing: her wedding dress, preserved in his closet. When he asked her what he should do with the keepsake worth nearly $1,000, she had only one response. “Whatever the $%^@# you want.” He obliged. What you see below are real uses of the wedding dress he posted to his blog.
That comment did the trick. The next month, when his brother asked him to go hunting, Kevin took the dress along. And that was just the beginning.
Anybody up for some sumo?
Yarr, it was the Curse of the Black-hearted Wife.
It’s a bride! It’s a pain!… oh no, it’s just a newly single and awesome guy.
He also turned it into a work of art.
Oddly enough, no one in the restaurant noticed or cared.
Then, he protected the interior of his car.
He also tried washing cars, but it turns out that wedding dresses don’t hold water very well.
You see, it’s helpful because the bustle holds up the end of the dress and keeps it from dragging the floor.
Kevin is now the world record holder for wedding dress jumps (that’s 37, by the way).
The only downside to using it as a parachute is that a wedding dress is all heavy and made from expensive materials.
Which makes it great at blocking sunlight.
People suggested using it as a slip ‘n slide. Little did they know, it was actually not great sliding material. At least he tried.
The dress wasn’t stiff enough to stand up well in the desert sand, but it was better than nothing.
The dress worked surprisingly well as a tow rope (helping him tow an SUV for over a mile).
Need to carry a baby or a dog? Easy.
This was Kevin’s first attempt at yoga. He couldn’t exactly place why standing on his ex’s wedding dress was so satisfying.
Tucson, AZ, hosts a Day of the Dead celebration every year. His costume was a smash hit.
He didn’t think the dress-hammock would support his weight, but voila: one of the best uses for the dress yet.
As it turns out, there are a lot of ways you can use your ex-wife’s wedding dress. Kevin goes into even more detail in his awesome book, 101 Uses for My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress. Kevin does teach us a lot about just how strong wedding dresses are (but they still aren’t worth $10,000), but he also teaches us just how strong people can be after a break-up. Especially if you can get creative.