Sept 22, 2020 / Submitted by:

Quibi , which usually it turns out is not actually some type of rare Pokémon like I believed but is actually that cellular streaming app that offers “ quick bites ” of content you need to pay for when you could simply sit there and renew Twitter a million times at no cost, is on life assistance. According to Vox , after producing its debut just 6 months back , Quibu has resorted to staring into a reflection while putting lipstick upon, a single tear streaming lower one luridly rouged quarter, before bravely and resolutely clip-clopping out on impossibly higher Lucite platform heels to market itself on the streets towards the highest bidder. After months associated with floundering , Quibi is seeking a buyer as a possible way to their “ oopsie we built something no one wants ” issue.

According to Vox:

Quibi was supposed to be innovative: A video service that was designed to fill the gap in between YouTube and HBO simply by bringing short, “premium” videos starring celebrities like Liam Hemsworth and Chrissy Teigen to your phone, for a cost.

But which was in the spring. Now, Quibi might be headed to a fire purchase: Just six months after releasing — and after raising $1. 8 billion — Quibi has started looking for a purchaser. It’s a stunning admission the high-profile service hasn’t discovered enough traction to continue by itself.

Vox reports that Quibi’s originator Jeffrey Katzenberg and TOP DOG Meg Whitman have already “ pitched at least one possible acquirer in the last week, ” and from the seems of things, the presentation went something like “ hey mister, I may end up being ugly but my ‘turnstyle feature’ will rock your own world.

However the more practical question regarding Quibi now is what exactly the buyer would get. There’s some money — a source familiar with the particular pitch says the company reports it has more than $200 mil on-hand — as well as the technology Quibi built to bring the video to your phone. It is particularly proud of what it phone calls its “turnstyle” system, exactly where viewers can rotate their own phone 90 degrees to get a different version of the video clip they were watching. Quibi’s anatomist team might also be beneficial to a certain kind of customer.

Also, so Quibi’s trying to produce gonorrhea AND a repetitive tension injury? No thanks. In terms of Quibi’s content, any possible buyer would need to buy everything new wigs and tights. Vox reports that Quibi doesn’t actually own the majority of its shows.

…in most all cases, Quibi doesn’t actually have your own shows it has paid for: They have licenses that last a long period, at which point they go to the companies that made all of them. (Disclosure: Vox Media creates shows for Quibi. )

So if you are buying Quibi because you would like to get your hands on The Most Dangerous Game , you’re going to have to take benefit of it in the near future. Which means you are unlikely to value Quibi has highly as its supervisors and investors would like.

Despite the wonky titties, bad teeth plus pronounced limp, it sounds such as Quibi’s pimp Jeffrey continues to be intent on marketing this as a high-class prospect.

Katzenberg declined to answer queries via email. His firm insists, via a statement from the PR rep and in the pitch to would-be acquirers, that the service has had an effective launch, despite well-documented problems to attract users. The truth that it’s trying to find a purchaser undercuts those arguments.

Quibi offered Reese Witherspoon all that cash, maybe she should buy this. I might actually pay for a good app that lets me personally watch The Notorious LJP dancing in turnstile mode.

Pic: Wenn. possuindo