As expected, French Canadian music weirdo Grimes gave birth to her first child with Elon Musk, and the little future trust funder is a baby boy. It’s entirely too appropriate that Elon decided to wear a shirt that said OCCUPY MARS for the first time he met his new baby son. Because Elon recently revealed the name he and Grimes chose for their baby, and it sounds like they picked their name at random from a sub-orbital space shuttle instruction manual. You’re shocked, I’m sure!

Elon tweeted updates on the birth of his child and eventually confirmed his son was born:

Mom & baby all good
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 5, 2020

He shared several pictures of his new baby, like the one of him holding his kid like an extra-large burrito, and this one, which serves as a helpful reminder that it’s never too early for Baby’s First Face Filter:

pic.twitter.com/chk0Scuixp
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 5, 2020

When Grimes was pregnant, she swore she’d never reveal the sex of her baby, because her baby can’t consent to being famous or being in public. She also mentioned that she didn’t want to gender them in case they decided to question that later in their life. Well, it’s been less than 24 hours, and Elon has already revealed the sex and posted two pictures for his 33.6 million Twitter followers. It’s gonna be a tense couple of days when they get back to Gene Wilder’s house.
This is 32-year-old Grimes’ first child, and 48-year-old Elon’s sixth son. He has a set of 16-year-old twins named Griffin and Xavier, and 14-year-old triplets named Damien, Saxon, and Kai, from his marriage to his first wife Justine Wilson.
Okay, now that I’ve dragged this out long enough, let’s get to the name. After tweeting about his kid’s birth, Elon was asked what they named the baby and it’s very on-brand:

X Æ A-12 Musk
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 5, 2020

X Æ A-12 Musk. Suddenly, having a last name that makes you think of the stink off a badger’s ass doesn’t seem so bad.
Where do we even start with this?! It’s probably a joke,, but did a monkey pick the name? I assume X is pronounced as “Ex,” but this is Grimes and Elon, so it could also be pronounced as, “Crossing.” We really are losing it for Animal Crossing. Æ is a ligature called an ash. A-12 could be a reference to an authentication mechanism. X Æ A-12 isn’t so much of a name as it is the sequence of numbers and letters you enter to prove to CAPTCHA that you’re not a robot. It’s a name that tells people: My parents probably smoke something stronger than weed.
But all this will be made exponentially funnier when X Æ A-12 decides to rebel against his parents in his teens, and causes both Grimes and Elon to have a parental meltdown when their son demands they start addressing him as Scott or Brayden.
Pic: Twitter