Being single is less of a lifestyle choice and more of an inevitability these days. With dating moving from the real world to the digital world, it can seem even harder than ever to actually meet someone in real life. After months of texting, instant messaging and Snapchat-ing, meeting up in person can be a little, well, terrifying.
Spending precious time with a stranger in the hopes that they will turn out to be “The One” can sometimes be a little trying and more often than not, it will leave you downbeat, depressed and depleted. It’s amazing we manage to procreate at all; dating is a minefield. Prepare to be uplifted, then, as we look through the ways in which dating crushes your soul. We’ve all been there, my friend.
Your Hopes Are Already Way Up
The chance are that you have already spoken to your friends about said date, stalked their Facebook page and perused their Instagram feed. You have created a fictional life based on their online activity and are already convinced that they are perfect for you. No pressure, then.
You Have To Go Out On A School Night
In order to meet the person of your dreams, you actually have to go out and more often than not, it will be during the week; weekends are for real friends, after all. Say goodbye to Netflix and prepare to be tired the next day.
It’s Like A Job Interview
In order to get to know if someone is right for you, you have to fire them constant questions about their entire life history up until that point. There’s no cute way to do this.
You Have To Get The Perfect Outfit
They already know what you look like, so that’s a good thing but now you have to confirm for them that you definitely are as good as they thought you were. Cue hours of rejecting all of your clothes and crying in a heap on the floor.
You Feel Pressured To Be Original
If you are the date instigator, it is up to you to decide on what to do. Apparently, drinks or dinner don’t suffice any more, so be prepared to have something pretty spectacular up your sleeve. Remember, though: If you get a second date, it must outdo the first, so don’t go too big.
The Greeting Is A Mine Field
Chances are, you already like each other but how do you say hello before the date’s even begun? An awkward wave? An even more awkward hug? A cheek kiss? I don’t know about you but I’m getting anxiety even thinking about it.
You Have To Talk About Yourself
The rules are, you ask them everything about themselves and vice versa. Got a job that you hate? Get ready to big it up! You’re going to be talking about it all night long.
You Never Order What You Really Want
When all you really want is the spaghetti, it pains you to have to order something a little more date friendly. There’s cute-messy and then there’s spaghetti-messy. Don’t get the two mixed up.
You Have To Make REAL Conversation
With all of the digital interactions that we make, it can be hard to remember how to have a real conversation. When you don’t know what to say, you’ll just have to improvise; emojis don’t work in real life.
The Mind Games
All you’re thinking about is whether or not the other person likes you or not. You read into every move they make and start counting each time they blink when you talk. Are they interested? Are they playing with you? Do you even care? It’s exhausting.
Flirting Goes Badly With Food
Try and eat any meal seductively, I dare you. Dates come with many pitfalls and when you add food into the mix, it can all go a little haywire. You’ll probably end up having to spend more money on dry cleaning after the date. That’s life.
Everything Has A Double Meaning
There are no rules in dating and it’s almost impossible to tell if your date is being sarcastic or if they really dolove Taylor Swift. When in doubt, the best thing to do is smile and nod. Rinse and repeat.
You Instantly Forget Everything Your Date Has Said
Inevitably, you spend so much time worrying about what they’re not saying, or trying to look seductive that you forget everything they have told you. When they ask you a follow up question, this can get tricky.
It’s Always Obvious You’re On A First Date
You always end up surrounded by other “established” couples and in the middle of them, it’s clear that you and your date are first timers. Awkward silences are palpable to the rest of the room so try not to let them build up for too long.
You Always End Up Drunk
Of course, we all know that the only remedy to dating nerves is alcohol. Inevitably, of course, you veer a little on the heavy side with your drinking and somehow end up blind drunk. As long as you don’t start crying, though, you’re gold.
90% Of The Time It Doesn’t Work Out
It sucks to say but most dates that we go on don’t lead anywhere in particular. They weren’t who you thought they were and they don’t like your preference for cats. When you realize it’s not going to work half way through the date, things can get awkward.
No-One Knows Who Should Pay
Hey, we’re living in 2015 over here and it’s free game. Should you split the bill? Should the person who asked the other out pay? There’s no clear cut answer and you’re just going to have to feel this one out.
No-One Knows How To End The Night
The “goodnight” has even more pitfalls than the “hello” of a date. You’re even more in the dark as to what is appropriate and so you’re left to your own devices. If you’re drunk, you probably won’t remember, so that can sometimes be a positive.
Do You Text The Next Day?
The date doesn’t end when you say goodbye, though. You are faced afterwards with the perils of when to text them again. Some people say three days, some people say straight away, so really, no-one has a clue.
You Have To Go Through It All Again
In order to move forward, you have to go through it all again. Sheesh. Luckily for you, it does get easier over time, so suit up, step out and put yourself out there. Good luck.